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Anytime you think you can't do something,
that's a result of your conditioning,
not your potential.
Your potential is unlimited!!!
- Author unknown
IT ALL STARTS WITH THIS
"Me! Caveman! No more sitting on the ground! My butt gets sore from sitting on rocks all day!!!" Ok, so maybe that's not what the first caveman that ever imagined a chair said. Maybe the idea of a chair was born among the Cave Ladies at the monthly community Cave Lady meeting. The Cave Ladies may have made a collaborative decision that they needed to do some self care and that included getting their butts up off the ground. Thus, the idea for the first chair was born! Their imagination created the picture in their minds, their emotions created the comfortable feeling that sitting in a chair would produce, their desire for a different life caused them to take action and voila, their butts became much more comfortable!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
"Imagination is the beginning of all creation." George Bernard Shaw
Everything in your life was given first given birth through your imagination. If you released the conditioning that limits you, your doubts, reasons why not and anything else that you use to keep yourself playing small and allowed yourself to imagine and feel yourself living your life as YOU want to, what would that like look like?
How about taking some time now to sit with that picture? Just like the Cave Ladies used their imagination to create what they wanted, so can you. All you need to do is IMAGINE it!
If you have any questions, please contact Joy Baker at Joy@courageinaction.com
VULNERABILITY AND AUTHENTICITY
I had a picture come into my mind recently in which I was standing in front of a group of people. This is how it went - “I stand before you naked.” As people say to themselves “HUH?” I look down at myself, touch my clothes and laugh. I then say, “Oh, I guess I’m not naked. And yes, it’s probably a good thing I did get dressed this morning. Actually, the point I’m making is “I stand before you as my Authentic Self. I made a choice recently that, as reluctant as I was and still am at times, I would strive to live as authentic a life as I know how. And if that includes ‘exposing’ my vulnerability, that’s what I’ll do.”
Notice that in the picture above I used the word “expose”. I used that word because that’s how many people feel about being vulnerable. Yet, what if being vulnerable is where our Authentic power resides? Being vulnerable allows us to live Authentic Lives and to connect with others at a heart to heart, soul to soul level. At that point, it’s up to the other person if they choose to connect or not.
It’s my belief that fear of being vulnerable is one of main reason there’s so much discontent in our lives and in the world as a whole; believing we have to DO more rather than BE who we authentically are. The whole ‘Keeping up with Joneses’ concept is based on “I’m only successful (and good enough) if I have what my neighbors have, what society says I ‘should’ have”. What if you made the decision that, rather than comparing yourself to others, you choose to live as an Authentic Person living an Authentic Life? And what if that Authentic Life included being as vulnerable and accountable as you know how at this time? That might sound like a scary thought yet, isn’t there some small part of you that RIGHT NOW feels really GOOD at the thought of no more hiding? At the thought of allowing yourself to be the REAL YOU and giving yourself permission to let your light shine through?
You are a MAGNIFICENT being created in the image of our Creator. Simply by being on this planet you have VALUE. You have had experiences in life that are UNIQUE to you and have provided you with GIFTS that only you have the opportunity to be able to share with the world.
Could now be the time to let go of comparing yourself to others and to live in the BRILLIANCE THAT YOU ARE?
Please contact Joy Baker with any questions at Joy@CourageInAction.com
Cutting cords. It can be such a powerful technique of disconnecting from a dysfunctional relationship or situation, yet one discounted by so many people and often put down to 'new age fluff'.
So, what are cords and how can they help us disconnect from a dysfunctional relationship? Before we get into that, know that we are Beings of energy. We look like solid matter however, matter is energy that has slowed down it's rate of vibration to a low enough frequency that it looks solid. Everything is this world is energy and has it's own individual rate of frequency and it's own individual energy signature. Take a block of ice. The vibration of that ice has had it's vibrational frequency slowed down enough that it appears to be solid matter. Then, if we warm up that block of ice, the vibrational frequency raises and it turns into water. Warm the water enough and it turns into steam, an even higher vibrational frequency. I remember reading in a book years ago that if we look at our arm, while it looks solid, it's actually molecules vibrating at a rate of (I forget the exact figure) something like 385,000 miles per second. Kind of boggles the mind, doesn't it? That was my first understanding that as human beings, we are more than solid matter.
What is an energy signature? Your personal energy signature is comprised of all your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, etc that you have ever had in this lifetime and is what makes you uniquely YOU. You have an energy field that surrounds you (often called the aura) that is comprised of your personal energy signature and when somebody else resonates with your energy signature (your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, feelings etc) then the connection begins between two people. Depending on the emotional depth of the relationship, energetic cords can develop. These energetic cords are found at our chakras. Our chakras are energy vortexes (think of a funnel) where energetic information is received and sent. We are sending and receiving information from our chakras all the time. Have you ever walked into a room or been around somebody and thought to yourself something like "I don't like the vibes I'm getting from that person" or "I walked in the room and immediately felt like jumping for joy!" or similar such thoughts? That is your chakras tuning into the energetic information they're picking up from the room or the person and deciding if they resonate with it/them. If a connection is made, then energetic cords can start between the 2 people. If it becomes a friendship, intimate relationship or even a business relationship, then emotional attachments begin and the energetic cords become stronger and stronger between the 2 (or more) people.
However, when a relationship ends, the energetic cords are still there. I once heard a speaker say that when we have sex with another person, the energetic cords can stay in place for up to 7 years. That is, unless they are intentionally cut with focused intention. So, how does a person tell if they have energetic cords with another person, cords that are continuing to keep them stuck in a dysfunctional relationship with them? You'll know the cords are still present when you obsess over the other person; when thoughts about them or the relationship keep rattling around in your mind; when you continue to feel devalued, worthless, not enough, or whatever it is for you whenever you think of them and the relationship; or simply can't seem to 'get over' somebody. If that's the case, then you'll need to cut the cords with your intention. There are many ways to do this and many good articles on the internet about how to cut energetic cords. I like to call on Archangel Michael and ask for his help with cutting cords. I'll see the cords between myself and the other person connecting us at the levels of our chakras and then ask Michael to cut the cords. I either see Michael swoop down with his sword and cut the cords or I have giant golden scissors that I use to cut cords. I/We continue to cut cords until I see and feel clear space between me and the other person. I know the cords are cut when I can think and feel clearly again without the other person coming into my mind and emotions. The other day I was cutting cords with another person and needed a little extra help so I took my hand and physically (energetically) pushed the person away from me. I saw them receding into the distance until they were just a tiny, tiny, tiny speck and I could feel they had completely left my energy and mind.
A couple things to keep in mind. Just as going to the gym has to be done on a consistent basis in order to see results, cutting cords will probably need to be done repeated times until the emotional connection has been cut for good. Depending on the emotional connection, this may have to be done several times a day or several times a week. If the cords are not eventually removed and or the same dysfunctional patterns appear in another relationship, that means there is inner work to be done; releasing and clearing out old, disempowering belief systems and 'truths' that no longer support who you're becoming and how you're choosing to live your life.
Please contact Joy Baker with any questions at Joy@CourageInAction.com
CALLING ALL COACHES; WHAT YOU ARE AND ARE NOT PROVIDING FOR YOUR CLIENTS
*** You are not there to save them
*** You are not there to fix them
*** You are not there so that they can tell you what your value is by the amount they pay you for your coaching services
*** You are not there so you can boost your self esteem and worth
*** You are not there so you can feel good about yourself
*** You are not there so you can work through YOUR issues
*** You are there as a guide
*** You are there so you can support them as they go through the process of self-discovery
*** You are there to provide them the tools and techniques they can use in their daily life
*** You are there to empower them
*** You are there to help them discover their greatness
*** You are there to give them the fuel (support, guidance & tools) they require to start bringing their dreams to fruition
Take a look at the first list, what you are NOT there for them for. This is what society teaches us how we are supposed to be in relationships of all kinds. We’re supposed to fix people, save them, worry about them etc. NO WE’RE NOT! The first list disempowers a person and does not allow the person to be in their power. When you’re trying to save or fix somebody, you are robbing them of their power. That is not what coaching is about. And if you’re trying to save or fix somebody, then take a look at yourself and ask yourself “Do I feel like I need to be fixed and/or saved?” Chances are the answer will be a resounding YES! If it is, then start asking yourself questions to discover what that is all about and allow yourself to dive deep into the emotional realm. As I’ve heard my amazing mentor Dov Baron say many times, “The best way to turn a person into a robot is to take all the emotions and feelings out of him or her”.
Our society often places value on people who are tough, don’t show emotions, are workaholics (rather than dealing with their emotional issues), who shut down their feelings in order to become financially successful etc. Yes, there are times we need to turn down the volume on our emotions. If you’re in a crisis, it might very well be necessary to shut down your emotions temporarily so you can deal with the crisis. Once the crisis is over though, it’s time to get real, be authentic and truthful with yourself and process your emotions. The most authentically (note the word ‘authentically) powerful people are the ones who have a high emotional IQ.
As a coach and a change maker, it’s your responsibility to first deal with and process your own emotions and become empowered yourself before dealing with your clients emotional processes. I’m not saying don’t put your shingle out as a coach. By all means, get out there and start coaching. And if you’ve already been coaching and empowering your clients for several years, ROCK ON! What I’m saying is, if you’re coming from a place of fixing or saving your clients (or any of the points in the first list), take an honest look at yourself and ask yourself why you feel that they need to be saved or fixed. The answer is inside you and to be an effective and integral coach, you need to process that.
NOTE: There’s a difference between coaching and counselling. Briefly, counseling deals with emotional, often traumatic issues that have often been plaguing the client since childhood. It goes into the past and focuses on healing traumatic events so that the person can cope with daily life in a more empowered way. Coaching is working with a client from where they currently are and providing them with a skill set so that they can move forward in life. The reason I’m bringing this up is because the line has gotten very blurred between the two. Since society often views working with a coach as more ‘acceptable’ than working with a counsellor or therapist many people will start with a coach and then get into deeper emotional issues. Coaching is an unregulated profession and anybody can take a weekend course, call themselves a coach and charge whatever they want; it’s your responsibility as a coach to ensure you have developed the skills to deal with these deeper emotional issues.
If you’re a coach that is just starting out and especially if you haven’t done the deep emotional work on yourself, you need to be in integrity and refer your client to somebody else if it’s out of your range of skills and experience. Yes, I’m aware that, just like a 16 yr old kid that needs experience in the job field, a coach needs clients to work with so that they can become increasingly skilled at empowering their clients. You can always offer to work with somebody on a continual weekly basis for a low fee so that you can get the necessary experience. Offer your time at a non profit organization that could use your skills. Focus on your own self improvement and while you’re doing that, you’ll develop skills and modalities you can use with your clients. The coaching profession is based on integrity and accountability, standards that all coaches need to hold themselves responsible to.
FYI; When I refer to coaches and doing the deep emotional work, I’m referring to coaches who either call themselves some version of a life coach or those coaches who have started out in a niche such as fitness coaching, business coaching, leadership coaching, sales coaching etc. and then, when the client presents with an emotional issue, you either need to have the skills and experience to help them or refer them.
This is a path that takes enormous courage and commitment so congratulations on becoming a coach and change maker! The world needs more people like you who are willing to STEP UP and SPEAK YOUR TRUTH!!!
Please contact Joy Baker with any questions at Joy@CourageInAction.com